In love with an eccentric? Keep these things in mind.
Dating is all about getting to know someone — the real person. Sometimes, that means you end up finding out that the person you’ve been falling in love with is a huge weirdo.
You thought that maybe they were just a little eccentric, but nope … they’re full blown strange. You still love them, but once you find out that someone’s weird, there’s no going back.
That’s no reason to break up, but there’s also no going back to normal. Here’s what it’s like to date a weirdo.
1. They’re never boring.
Movies and TV always show weird people in a big, obvious way. For example, Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory will only sit in a specific seat and goes to the bathroom on a specific schedule. In real life, weird is much smaller and not always as noticeable. But it makes you love them!
2. They’ll always surprise you.
My current girlfriend doesn’t like any sort of condiments, dipping sauces, or cake icing. If she’s eating something like chicken fingers, she eats them dry.
I didn’t know that people like this exist. It’s obviously not a problem; she can eat her food however she wants. It’s just a little awkward explaining that to my parents when we’re over for dinner (though she really is a good sport).
3. Their weirdness can be a win/win for you.
The icing part works out really well for me because she’ll eat the cake and then let me have the extra icing. The point is, don’t think you can prepare yourself for weird.
4. They’re always revealing new, strange things about themselves.
Whenever you date someone, you don’t start off dealing with the real person. People begin a relationship showing off a version of themselves, and then slowly strip back the layers until the real person is revealed.
If you’re dating someone who’s weird, that means that you’re going to keep finding new, strange things you have to deal with, like the fact that she streams serial killer documentaries while she works. Maybe two months into the relationship they reveal to you that they’re afraid of chemtrails. Then, a year later, you find out that they believe lizard people run the government.
No one’s talking about lizard people on the first date ; you have to stick around to find out about that sort of stuff.
5. They help you learn about yourself.
Most of us go through life making a lot of assumptions about ourselves. When you spend time around someone who’s weird, you figure out how you really feel about stuff. It’s the basis for the majority of rom-coms — and there’s a reason for it.
You see how judgmental you really are. It’s easy to let strangers live their lives in whatever messed up way they want to, but it’s different when you care about the person.
I don’t care how many cats Ms. Stevenson down the street owns, but if I come home and my girlfriend bought ten cats, we’re going to have a conversation — especially because my girlfriend is super-allergic to cats and might die if that happens.
6. They make you realize that nobody’s really normal.
Once you look into the void, you can never unsee it. Once you’ve been around one weirdo and you see what the real depths of weirdness can be (yet also how subtle it can also be) you’ll never see anyone as normal again. Mostly because no one really is normal.
Every time you meet someone new, you know that you’re not really meeting them; you’re just meeting the mask that they put on for society. Underneath that mask is someone who refrigerates their socks because they like having cold feet.
7. They don’t require you to match their weirdness to feel comfortable.
Being weird doesn’t make someone undateable. Don’t try to match their quirkiness; just be yourself. Don’t start doing the weird things that they do just to be more comfortable around them.
It’s fine to be different. You don’t want to find yourself a few years down the road wondering why your socks are in the freezer. Keep your socks where you want to keep them.
8. They don’t need explanations.
This is the most important thing. If you’re dating someone who does weird things or acts strangely, just let it be. Don’t look for an explanation; just accept what they do.
One of two things will happen if ask for an explanation:
1) the reason won’t make sense and you’ll just make your partner feel weird or
2) everything will make sense and now you’re doing weird stuff, too.
Come to terms with what your partner does and accept them for who they are. Not everything needs a reason.