The ‘Big 30’ is symbolic with women all over the world. You find that at about that time of life, a female would have completed her education and settled into a career path.

You will also find that there is a heightened level of self-awareness; she knows who she is and what she wants. There will also be several levels of success recorded – both perceived and actual – because life will always serve each one a different buffet to pick and work with.

However, there is one thing that remains constant for a female of that age, irrespective of her race, religion and ethnicity; it is that the big 30 is also the big cut off on a timeline. After which it’s a bad case to remain single for any longer. Worse still, finding a good man becomes harder or a nightmare, and the chances of childbearing narrows greatly…this is the belief.

No one may talk about it at the birthday party, but trust me everyone is thinking about it. How does she cope?

At age 30 and beyond, even the most enlightened and patient family members may start to become agitated. My mom dropped a new one on me recently; she asked “Uru will this marriage happen in my lifetime?” I burst out laughing and couldn’t contain myself. My mom is such a joker.

There is also the societal stigma, especially in Africa. At that age, she is labelled old.

At a point she may start to concede. It becomes about being sensible and true to her position, as opposed to finding true love. But it doesn’t have to be that way. For the female who is 30 years and beyond, who finds herself constantly drawn into a place of misery on account of being single, here are a few thoughts on how to cope.

Stay Positive

A positive outlook and approach is more likely to birth something positive. Speak what you want into existence, imagine the life that you want and that’s what the universe will deliver to you. I have heard some ladies suddenly conclude that true love doesn’t exist anymore. Life may have taken them to that point, but I say this, ‘Stay positive’.

Stay Occupied

There are other aspects to a fulfilled life, self development and spirituality for instance. These profitable ventures are worth your pretty mind. Do not be pre-occupied with only thoughts of love, marriage or men – they will wear you out.

Stay Beautiful

Letting yourself go is an absolute travesty at any point, needless to say that for the one seeking a better half, this cannot be over-emphasised. Be the best version of you. Chin up and stay beautiful

Be a Social Butterfly

At a sensible level, go out, meet new people, become a part of the community in ways that interest you. This is not targeted at finding a romantic partner solely, but also to make valuable friends and acquaintances.


Be thankful for the life that you have and all that you are blessed with. You need to find happiness and contentment from what already exists in your life. Guess what? Life will never be entirely perfect but you can make the most of it.

This subject is very deep, there are many aspects to it and many solutions that are trending currently. I do not have it all figured out myself, but I love to share. Stay positive and avoid situations that will heighten the deep rooted anxiety that comes with finding this thing called LOVE.

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