“Age is nothing but a number” we often hear people utter those words, but have you ever taken the time to break down that phrase? Back in the old days, it was completely normal for men to marry women ten to 15 years younger and it currently seems to be a popular trend in Hollywood. Let’s face it, it’s more common to find older men with younger women than the latter.
While we aren’t against relationships or marriages with huge age gaps, there are a few factors to consider if you’re thinking of having a partner who is significantly older than you.
You have different world experiences
If one of you has lived on earth much longer, then that person is likely to have more life experience in a range of subjects. For example, they might have experienced more relationships or know what it’s like to be married, or to have children, while the younger person might still be in university and still lives at home. The chances are, their opinions and outlook on life will be different and it’s even more likely to cause problems when things get serious and talk steers towards children or marriage.
You might have detached social lives
Often times when you go into a relationship, you’ve both had your separate lives, which you have to bring together…eventually. Besides the usual date nights and alone time you have with your partner, you also have social interactions with other couples and friends. A 20-year-old has a completely different crowd to a 40-year-old, so there will have to be some compromise because while love is always the determining factor, the couple involved will have to adjust to a different social circle that suits them both.
There might be an element of control
When your partner is significantly older, it is possible that he or she will always take the lead and end up controlling or imposing on the other. Whether we like it or not, age is a characteristic that determines how much power you have in society as younger ones are more likely to take direction from older people because they are deemed more knowledgeable on life matters. Furthermore, studies indicate that difference in age gap is directly linked to domestic violence and murder as it mostly puts the younger partner at higher risk.
What happens when one partner has reached old age and the other is still younger?
As we get older, our bodies begin to relax and we become less active. If your partner gets to an older age while you’re still considerably young, you must adjust your lifestyle to fit theirs. You might end up spending most of your time taking care of them, as your activities won’t be physically suitable. There’s also the possibility of worrying about his or her wellbeing rather than enjoying growing old together and of course if one partner dies first the other will be left alone, to pick up the pieces.
While there are always exceptions to rules, it is inevitable that dating someone more than ten years older will present challenges sooner or later, which intensifies the pre-existing challenges any relationship has. The age gap is not always the underlying issue, as there are many factors that play significant roles in maintaining a sustainable and healthy relationship regardless of the age gap between partners.