No one likes to face the moment in life when a close friendship dissolves, but it’s definitely something that you can’t ignore. In most cases, you can easily see the signs that you and your bestie have grown apart even if you don’t want to believe that a breakup with your best friend is already in progress.
When best friends begin drifting away from one another, it’s typically a situation where one or both of you can totally sense the inevitable vanishing act coming before it actually happens. You just don’t *click* like you used to, and you intuitively understand that a huge-yet-necessary social shift is on the horizon.
Experiencing a subtle parting of the ways with your BFF is just one of many uncomfortable adulting moments that many of us face with reluctance, but still manage to survive.
1. THE TIME BETWEEN RETURNED PHONE CALLS/TEXT MESSAGES HAS WIDENED.
You saw the read receipts, and your BFF has been Snapchatting nonstop so you know she got your messages (thanks technology), but it’s been weeks, and she hasn’t bothered to respond to your text with so much as an emoji.
2. IT FEELS INCREDIBLY AWKWARD WHEN YOU HANG OUT.
There’s an unspoken weirdness between you two that no one wants to address. As much as you try to ignore it and act like everything is normal, the discomfort lingers in the air as a clear sign that the best days you and your best friend enjoyed together are officially behind you.
3. YOU’RE *SO* BEHIND ON WHAT’S HAPPENING WITH ONE ANOTHER.
You’re clueless about the wedding details, and she has no idea how your new job is going. The fact that both of you are so out of the loop with what’s going on in your respective lives feels strange because this is not how best friends do.
4. YOU JUST DON’T *GET* ONE ANOTHER ANYMORE.
When you come face to face, have a brief convo, or stalk her on Facebook, all you see is an impostor pretending to be this person who is formerly known as your BFF. It’s like the individual who has known you for years is a virtual stranger.
Whatever you’re into, she just can’t understand, and neither of you make the effort to enlighten one another. Unlike two peas in a pod, you couldn’t be further apart than if you never spoke again.
Which brings us to…
5. YOU HAVEN’T SEEN YOUR BESTIE IN A WHILE, BUT YOU DON’T FEEL COMPELLED TO REACH OUT.
Once upon a time, you couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing or hearing from your BFF again. But since there seems to be a total disconnect between the two of you, that feels like a real possibility that you could be totally fine with.
6. YOU HAVE MISUNDERSTANDINGS THAT GO UNRESOLVED.
During your closest days, you didn’t allow disagreements to linger for too long before one of you called to hash things out, apologize and move on. But the fallout from that minor tiff you had seems to be going on longer than necessary, maybe because it’s less about the argument and more about the fact that you two just aren’t as close as you used to be.
7. HANGING OUT FEELS MORE LIKE WORK THAN FUN.
Friendship takes work, but ugh, when you hang out, there’s just way too much heavy lifting involved. From uncomfortably fishing around for stuff to talk about to not agreeing on places to meet, the entire relationship feels like one extended ride on the struggle bus.
8. YOU NO LONGER ACKNOWLEDGE SPECIAL OCCASIONS.
Yesterday was your best friend’s birthday (or was it the day before?), but you didn’t even send a text nor did you receive an angsty message from her for forgetting. You used to have a standing gossip appointment for Fridays after work, but it’s been several months since you got the workplace tea, or any juicy info about her life for that matter.
9. YOU FEEL EXCLUDED FROM HER NEW FRIEND GROUP.
Those cheesy inside jokes they share make you cringe with discomfort because for once, you’re not in on them. The stories they laugh at and the subtle references everyone else gets go completely over your head. It’s like they know her better than you, and what’s worse, your former BFF has no interest in keeping you in the loop.
10. SOMEONE ELSE HAS TAKEN YOUR BESTIE’S PLACE.
Not that there was an official ceremony announcing your BFF’s replacement, but both of you know in your hearts that “best friend” is now a title with an expiration date, which happened as soon as you began sharing your deepest, darkest secrets and everyday happenings with someone new.